Breathe (Sway Part 2) Page 2

  If I went home, I’d be a pariah. If I stayed, something would change. It may not be for the better, but I’d never know unless I stuck it out. And that whole curiosity killing the cat thing has never phased me.

  “No, I won’t be a problem. Unfortunately, I need you as much as you need me. But I don’t like being lied to, or misled, so I’m asking you to be honest about your plans from here on out.”

  “No one lied to you, dear.”

  “You withheld the fact that you forced Ryan to be here with Jacob and me. I was under the impression that he wanted us here. That he was at least willing to try to get to know us.”

  “I know my son. Given a little time, he’ll do the right thing. His conscious won’t allow him to fail his own flesh and blood. Follow my instructions and in a very short time, you’ll be in a much better place.” Valerie’s voice lowered, giving me a slight chill, but evil has always had that effect on me. “As long as you remember that you do need me and that I can remove you from this equation if I see fit. So don’t get any ideas about crossing me, Katherine, and we’ll all live happily ever after.”

  “Are you threatening to take my son from me?” I bit out the words, ready to come through the phone and strangle the Botox right out of her face.

  Valerie gasped; a hint of amusement attached. “Of course not Katherine. Don’t be so dramatic. Do we have an understanding?”

  “Yes, we do,” I growled. I understood that there was no line Valerie wouldn’t cross to get her way. All I had to do was be smarter than her, and stay a step ahead, which would be almost impossible since she was living with one foot in psycho fantasy land.

  “Good. Now that that nasty business is out of the way, how is it going with Ryan?”

  “Fine.”

  “That doesn’t sound very progressive.”

  I could tell by her tone that she was arching one of her neatly sculpted eyebrows. “Well, it’s kind of hard to make progress when I haven’t seen Ryan at all since Saturday at the park. I heard him come in late last night. When I got up this morning, he was gone. Just like yesterday, and the day before.”

  “Why didn’t you go to him last night?”

  It took me a second to grasp what she was truly asking, which was just ridiculous.

  “Okay. One, I’ve never had a conversation with Ryan, like, ever, so sneaking into bed with him is the last thing I should be doing. Two, I was tired. I’ve unpacked enough crap for a dozen people. I’ve also been taking care of my infant son. Give me a few days to get acclimated. I’ll feel Ryan out, and then decide what to do.”

  “You already know what to do. Waiting is wasting time.”

  “You saw how he acted Saturday. I can’t rush. Besides, he doesn’t seem like one who enjoys being forced into anything.”

  “It can be done,” Valerie said sternly. She had definitely proven that, but I needed, at the very least, for Ryan and I to get along. Whether we ended up together or not, we would need to have a civil relationship and communicate for the sake of our son. That would never happen if he found out I was plotting against him with his mother.

  “It would ruin everything if I went that route. He still hates me for sleeping with him the first time. It will have to happen because he wants it to. You forced him to be here, which has only made Ryan more resistant to the idea of us. Just go have a glass of wine or something. I’ll keep you posted,” I soothed and hung up the phone.

  “She is going to be more of a nightmare than I anticipated,” I mumbled to myself. It was kind of weird how set she’d been on getting us together. It made me wonder what was in it for her.

  I knew only four things about the guy my family wanted me to marry. He’s hot, has a girlfriend, loves baseball, and has a crazy ass mother. The guy is, like, my very own Everest. Climbing that mountain was going to be a bitch no matter how I chose to do it.

  Ryan hasn’t ever been nice to me, and the last thing I want is to end up in a loveless marriage like my parents, and I’m assuming, his. After getting to know Valerie a little, I’m not sure John could truly love someone so slimy. Maneuvering the land mine known as Valerie Mullins would be tricky business. I’d have to be more on top of my game than ever.

  6

  Annie

  On Monday, I’d gotten right out of bed when my alarm clock went off. I was surprisingly ready to get up, but I guess that’s what sleeping sixteen hours does to a person. I blinked a few times and stretched my stiff body, realizing that I was okay; the world hadn’t ended because Ryan and I were apart. He was right. Being separated wasn’t going to be easy, but we could do it. I felt good, as if I could actually function for school, and wouldn’t be the blubbering mess I’d anticipated.

  But the goodness I’d felt earlier in the week was gone. It disappeared this morning when Ashley Carpenter—that nasty ice cream cone molesting mat beater of a wrestling cheerleader, who had it bad for Ryan—stood in front of my lab table in biology to ask at top volume if Ryan really had a baby.

  She glared at me expectantly, eyes wide, a slight smile on her thin lips. I completely hated her at that moment. I knew it would come out eventually; I just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Instead of freaking out and asking Ashley where she’d heard about Jacob, I calmly answered her question. “Yes, Ryan has a baby.”

  “So, he cheated on you?” She lit up, excited by the possibility. I could tell she was dying to scream at the top of her lungs that I was no better than the girls who’d been with Ryan before me.

  “No, he didn’t cheat on me. He was with Jacob’s mother before he and I were together.” Technically, he hadn’t cheated, but there was a very thin line in which to make that determination. We’d only been on a few dates. We weren’t committed, but Ryan admitted that he felt like he’d cheated.

  Unsatisfied with my answer, Ashley, smirked at my ring. “Is that supposed to make up for him having a kid with someone else?”

  “This ring doesn’t have anything to do with the baby or his mother.”

  “Oh, my god, he knocked you up, too,” she blurted, and then covered her mouth pretending to be shocked. I could have ringed her neck. Everybody in the room was glaring at me.

  “I’m not pregnant.”

  “You better be careful, Ashley,” her friend said. “Annie almost yanked out all of Kristy Prince’s hair last year for screwing with her about Ryan.”

  Ashley gave me an evil grin. “Well, I can pull hair too, but if I were you, Annie, I’d pass on the baby mama drama and drop Ryan’s ass. You’re still in high school for shit’s sake. Why would you want to be some kid’s stepmother?” she asked before spinning on her heel, making her blue and orange cheer skirt flair out, before walking away.

  For the rest of the day, I was stared at as if I had some sort of disease no one had ever heard of before. A disease with no cure. I heard whispers and laughter from the same girls, who only weeks ago were swooning over my ring, and the fact that Ryan had promised to marry me. Now they were taking bets on who the mother of his child was and how long it would take Ryan to dump me for her.

  Ryan and I knew we had things to sort out before we could marry. One of them, as Ashley so publicly pointed out, was that I was still in high school, and Ryan had a child with a one-night stand he hadn’t seen since.

  Ashley had brought up something else I hadn’t given much thought to. Being Jacob’s stepmother. As such, I would help be responsible for him when he was with Ryan on weekends or whatever the schedule would be, which was something I had no idea about because I couldn’t talk to Ryan for eighty-three more days. I wanted to scream.

  7

  Katie

  I was bored out of my mind, and living in a place that would never feel like home, with a boy whose hatred for me was so potent that I could taste it. Even though he blamed me, Ryan hadn’t been so innocent the night Jacob was conceived.

  When Ricky passed around that bottle of vodka, I didn’t make Ryan drink. I also hadn’t made him come to Ricky and Amanda’s suite with m
e. At the beginning of the night, I’d thought Ryan was going to ditch me. He’d barely spoken to me, barely made eye contact, when every other guy in the room was stealing glances at me while their date’s heads were turned. Our date had been arranged by Ryan’s mother. I’d been asked out plenty, but never by a guy’s mom. I thought that maybe Ryan resented being set up by Valerie, and that was the reason he was snubbing me.

  My parents ooze money, and have desirable social connections, which made people want to be close to me—in one way, or another, so being ignored by a guy wasn’t normal for me. Or something I enjoyed. This only made Ryan more desirable to me.

  When we’d gotten to Ricky and Amanda’s suite, Ryan was different. His attention was only on me, and for the first time that night, I looked closely at him. I watched as he removed his jacket and tie, engrossed by his perfection. His dirty blond hair, green eyes, olive skin, and tall, lean build made my heart hum. The vodka could have had something to do with that part, but Ryan was, and still is, super easy on the eyes.

  I’m no angel. I’d slept around a tiny bit, and at that point, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I wanted what I wanted, and was used to getting it. So when Ricky and Amanda went to their room, I took Ryan’s hand and led him to the second bedroom. He came willingly and didn’t protest, until the next morning.

  I woke as he rifled through the sheets, searching for his clothes. He paused a moment when I raised up in bed. “I’m seeing someone; this shouldn’t have happened,” he’d said, barely able to look at me.

  “I’m seeing someone, too.” I was always seeing someone.

  “I’ll get you a ride home.”

  “I can take care of myself,” I’d said, and laid back down. I had gotten used to the awkward morning after sickness that boiled in my belly when a guy left my bed too quickly.

  As much as I craved intimacy, I kept people at a safe distance. Allowing them to get too close would burst their bubble, and expose the truth about me. I wasn’t as glamorous as they’d made me out to be. People had this fantasy of what my life was like, and it was total bullshit, except for the part about my having the best of everything material.

  Instead of bonding, my parents threw money at me, giving me easy access to anything I desired. Clothes, shoes, jewelry, cars.

  I attended a private school that they pumped so much money into, I couldn’t be thrown out, no matter how much of an ass I was. And trust me, I tested the staff regularly. If I really pissed them off, the principal called my parents, and they wrote a check to make it all better.

  People made me sound so dreamy that even I was jealous of their version of me at times, but truthfully, I’d become a terrible person while trying to get my parents to pay attention to me. I wanted them to care enough to say no occasionally, to ask where I’d been, or notice if I didn’t come home at night. They ignored my behavior directly, but made sure my troubles were covered up—kept away from their important circles of friends and business associates.

  I guess my parents thought that giving me a taste of what life would be like without their money would change me, but what they would never understand is that I couldn’t care less about their money. What I wanted was their time. What I needed was their love, but I was certain after eighteen years of having neither, that they would never take a genuine interest in me. Or my son.

  Later, the doorbell rang. When I didn’t answer, Valerie let herself in. “Don’t get up, dear,” she smirked.

  I didn’t even reply. I was busy. She could see why I hadn’t come to the door.

  “You’re going to need to look the part,” Valerie complained, stalking around the living room in front of me as I sat on the couch feeding Jacob. If she weren’t such a bitch, I would have complimented her shoes. Black Valentino peep-toe-pumps, which I knew because I also had a pair.

  “How do I not look the part?” I pulled at my clothes. “I’m a new mother and that’s what I look like.”

  “You look almost homeless, dear. How many days have you worn that shirt in a row?”

  “My clothes are clean,” I scoffed.

  Valerie’s lip curled. “If you want to look like this while Ryan’s out, then go ahead, but you need to be changed and doing something wifely when he comes home.”

  “Like what? Knitting or hemming his dress pants?” I chortled.

  Valerie raised her eyebrow and pursed her mouth. “No, like putting dinner on the table.”

  I laughed. “The only thing I’ve ever done that might resemble cooking is microwave one of those gas station burritos at two in the morning to keep from being so drunk.”

  Valerie shook her head. “No drinking.”

  “I don’t anymore. The last time I got drunk I got one of these.” I nodded toward Jacob in my arms.

  “I’ll send someone to go over the basics with you so you can have something prepared for tonight. Tomorrow, you’ll start formal cooking lessons.”

  “I have no desire to cook,” I said. My face contorted at the idea.

  “If you’re going to be a wife, you’ll have to learn.”

  “You don’t cook, and neither does my mother.”

  “I can’t speak for your mother, but I did cook in the beginning. Once you’re married, you can slack off of those sorts of duties. Get a hobby— a cause to support. That will take up most of your time, and then you can hire staff to handle your responsibilities at home.”

  “Fine. Whatever. Send ‘em over. But you’re forgetting that Ryan is never here while I’m awake.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of Ryan.”

  “I have to give Jake a bath. You can see yourself out?” I asked. She had seen herself in.

  Valerie smiled crookedly. “Yes, dear, I know the way.”

  As she’d promised, someone appeared within two hours to help me prepare spaghetti carbonara, because it’s easy to make and tastes like you put in more effort than it requires.

  Once dinner was ready, I changed my clothes, sat at the table and waited for Ryan. Valerie told me she would make sure he was here, but six-thirty quickly turned into eight-thirty, and still no Ryan. I hadn’t wanted to cook for his rude ass in the first place, and was pissed that I’d let Valerie talk me into it.

  I changed back into my comfortable clothes and fed Jacob. While I was putting him to bed, Ryan snuck in and went straight to his room, probably without noticing the dinner I’d made.

  I stomped back to the kitchen, dumped his food—plate and all—into the trash and went to bed, desperately wanting to slam the door, but didn’t because it would have woke up Jake, and since I was his only active parent, I would have had to get him back to sleep.

  8

  Ryan

  I’d spent most of the evening in the library where it became evident that I would need to leave a window unlocked so I could get into my house during daylight hours without Katie knowing.

  I’d fallen behind in my schoolwork and was trying to finish a paper that was due in the morning, but I kept being interrupted by girls wanting my attention.

  They did lame stuff, like, ask me to reach a book for them, only to drop it in hopes that I would watch as they bent over to pick it up. I didn’t.

  Easy girls weren’t as attractive to me as they used to be. When I was younger, I felt like I’d won the lottery because I had a ton of girls willing to do whatever I asked, and a lot of things I didn’t.

  It made me wonder what I, a stranger, had done to make them want to have sex with me, without having a single conversation first. I hated that some of them didn’t understand that giving it up to me right away wasn’t going to make me love them. It made me finished with them. I’d rarely slept with the same girl twice.

  A blond wearing a skintight tube dress smiled blindingly at me. “Aren’t you Ryan Mullins?” she asked.

  Here we go. More stupid questions about baseball. I’d already been asked to explain a slider.

  “Yeah, I’m Ryan.”

  The girl pulled a chair out from my t
able and sat down beside me. “Would you be interested in showing me how to throw a curveball sometime?”

  I could tell she thought she was hot shit, but dressing like a hooker to come to the library was not sexy. The sexiest thing I’d ever seen was Annie wearing one of my t-shirts. I’d never let a girl wear my clothes before, although I’d been asked for souvenirs by the girls I’d screwed around with. I hadn’t known why they wanted them, until Annie explained that it was to advertise that they’d had a piece of me.

  “I’m sorry; I really don’t have time,” I told the blond, and shifted my focus back to finishing my paper. She touched my hand. “I’ll make it worth your while,” she promised. I pulled my hand away from hers. “I have a girlfriend.”

  “Oh, well, I don’t mind sharing.”

  I looked squarely into her eyes. “But I do.”

  Her smile faded; her cheeks reddened. “Your loss,” she huffed, pushing her chair noisily away from the table.

  Girls like her made me appreciate Annie even more. She didn’t have to try to be beautiful, smart, or funny. She just was.

  When I got home, it was after nine. I was so tired that all I wanted was to go to sleep and put another day behind me. There was a covered plate on the bar in the kitchen. Although I wondered what was beneath the aluminum foil, I didn’t look.

  Katie wasn’t around, and I didn’t want to chance running into her while I was snooping. Real food would have been nice since like most nights recently my dinner had come from a vending machine.

  I went to my room and crashed into bed, hugging Annie’s pillow, burying my face deep, to get a trace of her fading scent before closing my eyes.

  9

  Annie

  I decided it was time to call Justin. I knew Pam had spilled about my promise ring by now so I wouldn’t have to tell him myself. I wondered if that was why I hadn’t heard from him, or if the ring wasn’t the problem, and avoiding me had to do with the thing we agreed never to talk about. I hoped not, but either way, I needed my friend back.